quality...
the faces of lumps are definitely changing. would i consider myself a new or old face? how much have i given? how much have i taken? are there people who will forever remain a part of my life, because they have left a deep impression on me, and because they are genuine friends--who have taken time out of their busy schedules to get to know me and pray for me? or are there people who have fit me into their social calendars, as another person to hang out with, only for the fleeting moment, for the temporary now? not that it is a bad thing or anything, because i cannot be everyone's best friend, but can i be content? can i leave knowing that somehow my last six months have been a truly truly amazing time for me, and that---it too---will eventually become a memory?
i remember walking into lumps, looking for an ideal fellowship. it hasn't been ideal, and sure, i can be critical, but i can also look back and say, wow. the legacy of lumps definitely outweighs any cracks that may have formed under its moments of pressure.
i feel nostalgic, and because of that, i want to devote some quality time and words in noting my dinner last night with a brother, a mentor, a friend who i know...once i leave SF, our friendship will remain strong. no initials necessary, i know who he is. it HAS been a while since i caught up with him. he has definitely seen me change. he says: bonnie, you have created quite a storm here in san francisco. haha. i laugh. he mocks me...often. i cannot but smile shyly and think, how he teases me so. the conversation was definitely one to be savored. i like feeling comfortable and saying exactly what is on my mind. i like telling him my honest critical opinion. i like digging into the depths of his mechanic mind, looking for answers and emotions that can very well be hidden, but nevertheless, there. i look back and notice the rocky moments that we may have shared throughout the past several months, but i also understand that no matter what has been spoken, what hasn't been spoken, what has yet to be spoken of...i can remain patient and genuine in this friendship, knowing that no matter where i may be, i can count on him for prayer, for scripture, for moments of scolding to put me back in my place when i feel just a tad too spoiled (which is rare, i might add). =) if anything i have learned about people is the importance of knowing where their hearts are at. he definitely has his heart in the right place. i cannot say the same about a lot of the people i've met while being in san francisco---maybe i have yet to get to know them deeper. but for the short and few times i've interacted with this brother, i have never really doubted his passion in life. i know i do not approve everything he has to offer and everything he has to say, but i am sure he looks at me and shakes his head at times as well. =P our conversation was engaging, with prospects of what may happen a year from now. maybe dinner two years after i receive my M.R.S. degree (or lack thereof)? i enjoy the quality time we share because i know that he has a genuine concern for my well-being, not simply to itemize what i have been doing from day to day. people like him at lumps will never be forgotten; they have touched me tremendously. and for sure, i will miss them...without a doubt.
the faces of lumps are definitely changing. would i consider myself a new or old face? how much have i given? how much have i taken? are there people who will forever remain a part of my life, because they have left a deep impression on me, and because they are genuine friends--who have taken time out of their busy schedules to get to know me and pray for me? or are there people who have fit me into their social calendars, as another person to hang out with, only for the fleeting moment, for the temporary now? not that it is a bad thing or anything, because i cannot be everyone's best friend, but can i be content? can i leave knowing that somehow my last six months have been a truly truly amazing time for me, and that---it too---will eventually become a memory?
i remember walking into lumps, looking for an ideal fellowship. it hasn't been ideal, and sure, i can be critical, but i can also look back and say, wow. the legacy of lumps definitely outweighs any cracks that may have formed under its moments of pressure.
i feel nostalgic, and because of that, i want to devote some quality time and words in noting my dinner last night with a brother, a mentor, a friend who i know...once i leave SF, our friendship will remain strong. no initials necessary, i know who he is. it HAS been a while since i caught up with him. he has definitely seen me change. he says: bonnie, you have created quite a storm here in san francisco. haha. i laugh. he mocks me...often. i cannot but smile shyly and think, how he teases me so. the conversation was definitely one to be savored. i like feeling comfortable and saying exactly what is on my mind. i like telling him my honest critical opinion. i like digging into the depths of his mechanic mind, looking for answers and emotions that can very well be hidden, but nevertheless, there. i look back and notice the rocky moments that we may have shared throughout the past several months, but i also understand that no matter what has been spoken, what hasn't been spoken, what has yet to be spoken of...i can remain patient and genuine in this friendship, knowing that no matter where i may be, i can count on him for prayer, for scripture, for moments of scolding to put me back in my place when i feel just a tad too spoiled (which is rare, i might add). =) if anything i have learned about people is the importance of knowing where their hearts are at. he definitely has his heart in the right place. i cannot say the same about a lot of the people i've met while being in san francisco---maybe i have yet to get to know them deeper. but for the short and few times i've interacted with this brother, i have never really doubted his passion in life. i know i do not approve everything he has to offer and everything he has to say, but i am sure he looks at me and shakes his head at times as well. =P our conversation was engaging, with prospects of what may happen a year from now. maybe dinner two years after i receive my M.R.S. degree (or lack thereof)? i enjoy the quality time we share because i know that he has a genuine concern for my well-being, not simply to itemize what i have been doing from day to day. people like him at lumps will never be forgotten; they have touched me tremendously. and for sure, i will miss them...without a doubt.
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