convicted.
i received a life study bible in the mail today. sometimes i feel like i'm attending seminary school, with the 2 2-inch additions for my little bookshelf. application...that's really what it is about.

it took me 1.5 months to really get settled into the current situation i am in (re: school, work, family, personal relationships and God). the last month and a half have not been easy. i have wrestled with many issues in life, and have contemplated over what i am supposed to do next. today marked the end of my midterms. can you believe it? it is already half the semester. i don't count the weeks anymore, i just go and learn. during this time, i have met new people, made new friends, worked to maintain old friendships, kept old friendships...doubted my deferral, convinced of my deferral, questioned my future...fought with myself physically, broke down in re: to my health...wrestled with faith, restored my faith....and here i am. still with issues, but nevertheless, resolved in many other things as well.

the last time i talked about my old self and new self was in regards to pride...how part of my nature manifested itself pridefully by being independent and overly self-confident. if i were to reevaluate myself this time around, i noticed how i've subconsciously told myself that there's something wrong, something i can't do. "In Christ, we are important, we are qualified, we are good" however. my submission to false humility has crippled me in my walk and my faith. precious time should not be wasted on nonsense thoughts and desires. while i worked to hold my friends accountable, i had forgotten someone in particular: myself. what a hypocrite i can be.