a touch of kindness leaves me faithfully hopeful.
the last four days felt like four weeks. discipline comes with a heavy price. a price that you forget to include while budgeting your time, a price that you think will pay off in the end (though i am not refuting that of course), but there is such thing as "too much discipline." the past weekend, i spent every waking minute getting work done, filing out my fellowship applications for my summer plans and trying to play "catch-up" even though it's only the third week of the semester. i was so overwhelmed, pushing myself to my limits constantly. a week of emotional tears, sudden bursts of overhwhelming stress, should not be rehashed...oh geez, i'm just so glad it's over.
timing is so impeccable. the same day that i lost my scarf, and ALL my computer hw at 230am, i found a pink card from another princess in the mail. a perfect touch to lift my spirits. =) with the exchange of emails and IMs from other brothers and sisters, i feel so loved. and no, they weren't intentional chats, but because they wanted to check up on me...to see "how i was really doing." but come to think of it, the following day...i could only reflect back upon the "dramatic day" and chuckle. yes, that's exactly what i did. chuckle...i laughed at myself for being so dramatic; i laughed at myself for holding on to things that seemed to matter SO MUCH at that instant and neglect what i really got to live for; i laughed at myself for just being that me---that person who occasionally drifts into random acts of contemplative "whys." no way do i anticipate this week to be any easier in terms of workload, but maybe it's time to simply sit still, and reevaluate my sense of ambition...
what is the true meaning of being deeper still?
the last four days felt like four weeks. discipline comes with a heavy price. a price that you forget to include while budgeting your time, a price that you think will pay off in the end (though i am not refuting that of course), but there is such thing as "too much discipline." the past weekend, i spent every waking minute getting work done, filing out my fellowship applications for my summer plans and trying to play "catch-up" even though it's only the third week of the semester. i was so overwhelmed, pushing myself to my limits constantly. a week of emotional tears, sudden bursts of overhwhelming stress, should not be rehashed...oh geez, i'm just so glad it's over.
timing is so impeccable. the same day that i lost my scarf, and ALL my computer hw at 230am, i found a pink card from another princess in the mail. a perfect touch to lift my spirits. =) with the exchange of emails and IMs from other brothers and sisters, i feel so loved. and no, they weren't intentional chats, but because they wanted to check up on me...to see "how i was really doing." but come to think of it, the following day...i could only reflect back upon the "dramatic day" and chuckle. yes, that's exactly what i did. chuckle...i laughed at myself for being so dramatic; i laughed at myself for holding on to things that seemed to matter SO MUCH at that instant and neglect what i really got to live for; i laughed at myself for just being that me---that person who occasionally drifts into random acts of contemplative "whys." no way do i anticipate this week to be any easier in terms of workload, but maybe it's time to simply sit still, and reevaluate my sense of ambition...
what is the true meaning of being deeper still?
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