refreshed by simplicity.
with all that is happening in the world right now, i feel solemn. myriads of thoughts run through my mind today. i should be writing my midterm paper about the dismal truths of HIV/AIDS. what to do and where to begin? someone asks: are you appreciative? yes, i am. but to watch the countless stories about war, to hear the unending fears of many's work situation, to wait in desperate anticipation of what comes next, i sit here feeling like others are all taking this better than i. i wrestle with the little minute details that make my stomach churn as the gears in my head turn. i lie in darkness on my bed and pray. i am humbled.
living it day by day is probably the motto we must now live by. maybe it was i who had always mistaken and forgotten how to believe in God's grace--it was i who wanted to control the manacle of my very own stomach. what a reminder i had during this recent spring break when i spent several hours on IV in the stanford ER. i had left new haven and returned home distant from my christian faith, completely overwhelmed with school and worries that left a permanent sour taste on my tongue. as often as i could, i took sweets of nothingness to make me forget of such anxiety, only to realize that the overdose of sweetness backfired and left me confused and hungry for more.
He knew of my lifeless existence and He remained faithful.
It was God's grace that brought me to the land of comfort and sunshine. It was God's grace that gave me adventures of freedom and witness to his majestic canyons. It was God's grace that fulfilled me of my hungry desires both physically and spiritually. It was God's grace.
It started with the clear evening skies at palace of fine arts--my most favorite place in the city. Then it was the turning of my sister's head two rows in front at GrX, and meeting with d and a. a scheduled lunch with g filled me with a taste of taiwanese street-delicacies. a hike of 9.8 miles down and 9.8 miles up of God's great creation left me in awe. a "not-too-shabby-now-famous" ice cream cake and burnt fried wontons satisfied a room of hungry fellow brothers and sisters. a regurgitation of the "sour taste" left me in surrender to His Will. talks with sisters c, a, and f were the highlights of my spring break. i very much needed it. how can i forget: the 0.02 mile walk across the "why-is-it-not-golden" bridge, the mango-a-go-go run, the missed lunch from wo-de-dai-lo in SF, the still-in-my-purse keychain-chats, and perspective on school chat with a. of course i missed many many things, but boy it was the most fulfilling spring break i have had in a very long time. with the dynamics of a completely packed two weeks, i now understand how my high-strung bros g and m are in constant desires to "live it up" and "cease the day." God had woken me up every day to enjoy His blessings at its fullest and a simple thank you refreshed my growing faith.
when my summer plans suddenly turned hazy, i tried to redraw my picture. when fate tempted me, i asked for room to breathe. i have lived a life of extremes and know the exhilaration and pain of tent camping alongside the road of my-self-made-drama in all kinds of weather. There is so much beauty around us if we will only take the time to notice it. You can make a conscious effort to look for the essence and therefore develop an appreciation for the beautiful things in life. My days have seemed a lot less harried, I promise. Beauty has a way of totally capturing our senses, making us forget the fact that the car stalled on the way to work this morning, that the kids spilled chocolate milk on the carpet, that the workload keeps piling up. For a few brief shining moments, nothing else seems to matter. And the wonderful thing about beauty is that we can store it in our minds to be played over and over again.
God has refreshed me by the hospitality of one of God's thoughtful children. Perhaps it was the baking that brought me back to earth from all the stresses of everyday modern life. Maybe it's kneading the dough, in all its simplicity and physicialness, that helps the most in relaxing me. Maybe it's the time required to let the cake rise that forces me temporarily to slow down. It is as though my feet get firmly placed again on earth, and the problems of yesterday begin to look solvable. Afterwards, that which looked hopeless no longer seems so impossible, and that which seemed complex appears less so in the light of a new day.
with all that is happening in the world right now, i feel solemn. myriads of thoughts run through my mind today. i should be writing my midterm paper about the dismal truths of HIV/AIDS. what to do and where to begin? someone asks: are you appreciative? yes, i am. but to watch the countless stories about war, to hear the unending fears of many's work situation, to wait in desperate anticipation of what comes next, i sit here feeling like others are all taking this better than i. i wrestle with the little minute details that make my stomach churn as the gears in my head turn. i lie in darkness on my bed and pray. i am humbled.
living it day by day is probably the motto we must now live by. maybe it was i who had always mistaken and forgotten how to believe in God's grace--it was i who wanted to control the manacle of my very own stomach. what a reminder i had during this recent spring break when i spent several hours on IV in the stanford ER. i had left new haven and returned home distant from my christian faith, completely overwhelmed with school and worries that left a permanent sour taste on my tongue. as often as i could, i took sweets of nothingness to make me forget of such anxiety, only to realize that the overdose of sweetness backfired and left me confused and hungry for more.
He knew of my lifeless existence and He remained faithful.
It was God's grace that brought me to the land of comfort and sunshine. It was God's grace that gave me adventures of freedom and witness to his majestic canyons. It was God's grace that fulfilled me of my hungry desires both physically and spiritually. It was God's grace.
It started with the clear evening skies at palace of fine arts--my most favorite place in the city. Then it was the turning of my sister's head two rows in front at GrX, and meeting with d and a. a scheduled lunch with g filled me with a taste of taiwanese street-delicacies. a hike of 9.8 miles down and 9.8 miles up of God's great creation left me in awe. a "not-too-shabby-now-famous" ice cream cake and burnt fried wontons satisfied a room of hungry fellow brothers and sisters. a regurgitation of the "sour taste" left me in surrender to His Will. talks with sisters c, a, and f were the highlights of my spring break. i very much needed it. how can i forget: the 0.02 mile walk across the "why-is-it-not-golden" bridge, the mango-a-go-go run, the missed lunch from wo-de-dai-lo in SF, the still-in-my-purse keychain-chats, and perspective on school chat with a. of course i missed many many things, but boy it was the most fulfilling spring break i have had in a very long time. with the dynamics of a completely packed two weeks, i now understand how my high-strung bros g and m are in constant desires to "live it up" and "cease the day." God had woken me up every day to enjoy His blessings at its fullest and a simple thank you refreshed my growing faith.
when my summer plans suddenly turned hazy, i tried to redraw my picture. when fate tempted me, i asked for room to breathe. i have lived a life of extremes and know the exhilaration and pain of tent camping alongside the road of my-self-made-drama in all kinds of weather. There is so much beauty around us if we will only take the time to notice it. You can make a conscious effort to look for the essence and therefore develop an appreciation for the beautiful things in life. My days have seemed a lot less harried, I promise. Beauty has a way of totally capturing our senses, making us forget the fact that the car stalled on the way to work this morning, that the kids spilled chocolate milk on the carpet, that the workload keeps piling up. For a few brief shining moments, nothing else seems to matter. And the wonderful thing about beauty is that we can store it in our minds to be played over and over again.
God has refreshed me by the hospitality of one of God's thoughtful children. Perhaps it was the baking that brought me back to earth from all the stresses of everyday modern life. Maybe it's kneading the dough, in all its simplicity and physicialness, that helps the most in relaxing me. Maybe it's the time required to let the cake rise that forces me temporarily to slow down. It is as though my feet get firmly placed again on earth, and the problems of yesterday begin to look solvable. Afterwards, that which looked hopeless no longer seems so impossible, and that which seemed complex appears less so in the light of a new day.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home