"let's see what daddy does with it."
d comforted me after i told him my saga for the day. after awe-ing myself and many others at the beginning with a flawless presentation, i left the room with one question answered incorrectly, one question that left me feeling like the whole room of 15 people gasped and held their breath---one simple yes from me seemed to have sunken my heart to rock bottom. that was the feeling i got when i left the room. i know i tried my very best and He had given me all the strength i rightly deserved. He never failed me. before and after, all i could truly think about were the words j had left me with recently....philippians 4:6-7. they were ringing through my ears, keeping me calm, keeping me still. that passage was a perfect reminder from j.
during the past week or two, i had been frustrated and edgy, making conversations difficult to reveal my inner fears. from that 4-hr test to the recent 15+ panel, p had been giving me as much moral support as anyone possibly could, but no doubt, my worries left me feeling rather fussy. simply knowing that he was there left me somewhat comforted, but with reservations. C had been keeping me sane through the exchange of frequent emails, and boy do i miss hanging out. without the constant feedback and the wise advice, i would have found myself in a puddle of mushy-goo, waiting for some passerby to pick me up. it's been draining AND emotionally taxing at the same time.
i had sent out my woes to M and within the same day, i received a reply saying that i was treasured as one who could keep the "secrets" of a distant friend. d had called to personally tell me that i was in the thoughts and prayers and had handed the phone to a to wish me the best. another d had also wished me good luck during all these times of interviews, prep-meetings...etc. despite a busy work schedule. thankfully to the return of m, he spent an absurd amount of time, analyzing my presentation line by line, word for word, only to give me the utmost confidence to confront the big wigs....
despite j's busy schedule studying like a mad-woman, we managed to catch up a bit. there was just so much to talk about and it has just been so long. but her words of encouragement again never cease to amaze me. now how else can i top all the support from good ole california?
but of course not to forget...yahleh C had also been giving me positive feedback and encouragement and i was truly struck by her genuine concern and comfort. N left me a chocolate rose by the door with a little post-it that read: good luck tom! and R left a hanger on my doorknob to bless me with a "hang in there" theme. E had offered me his chicken wings during my study breaks and T had been the one person never neglecting to bring sunshine into my life with her silliness. S was kind enough to change interview spots with me and M came up to me and gave me a big warm hug right before.
the list just goes on and on...and while it may seem like the whole world knew of my oh-so-dramatic wednesday, quite frankly, it was only because these people took the time to ask...to ask how i have been doing, to ask what i have been up to... God is SO good! need i say more?
and now, it's waiting time....there are so many periods of "waiting" in life that make time seem long, whilte the rest of life flies! there is waiting to finish school, waiting for exam results, waiting for the wedding day to arrive, and waiting for the baby to take nine months to grow; there is waiting for a long illness to "break" and signs of recovery to be real; there is the waiting for that event all christians most urgently desire (at least in most periods of their lives)--for Christ to return and restore the fallen world, giving us our new bodies to be His Bride, with only glory ahead and no waiting left.
a conflicting feeling.... loves and joys from my awesome brothers and sisters and a bit of melancholy from a day of tired triumph and defeat. what can i learn out of all this? what can i say about myself after all this? somehow, i'm just waiting for Him to continue to purify my heart. all this emotional up and down, i'm thankful it's over. i'm thankful for the support. but i'm thankful that i found His peace and perfection when i needed it most--in a timely manner, indeed. this morning, i found it. i spent ten indulgent minutes reading a favorite book that had nothing to do with work, interview, or getting "buns of steel." it was just for enjoyment, just for me....from Him.
so comes with it, my endearing thank you to all and to Him.
d comforted me after i told him my saga for the day. after awe-ing myself and many others at the beginning with a flawless presentation, i left the room with one question answered incorrectly, one question that left me feeling like the whole room of 15 people gasped and held their breath---one simple yes from me seemed to have sunken my heart to rock bottom. that was the feeling i got when i left the room. i know i tried my very best and He had given me all the strength i rightly deserved. He never failed me. before and after, all i could truly think about were the words j had left me with recently....philippians 4:6-7. they were ringing through my ears, keeping me calm, keeping me still. that passage was a perfect reminder from j.
during the past week or two, i had been frustrated and edgy, making conversations difficult to reveal my inner fears. from that 4-hr test to the recent 15+ panel, p had been giving me as much moral support as anyone possibly could, but no doubt, my worries left me feeling rather fussy. simply knowing that he was there left me somewhat comforted, but with reservations. C had been keeping me sane through the exchange of frequent emails, and boy do i miss hanging out. without the constant feedback and the wise advice, i would have found myself in a puddle of mushy-goo, waiting for some passerby to pick me up. it's been draining AND emotionally taxing at the same time.
i had sent out my woes to M and within the same day, i received a reply saying that i was treasured as one who could keep the "secrets" of a distant friend. d had called to personally tell me that i was in the thoughts and prayers and had handed the phone to a to wish me the best. another d had also wished me good luck during all these times of interviews, prep-meetings...etc. despite a busy work schedule. thankfully to the return of m, he spent an absurd amount of time, analyzing my presentation line by line, word for word, only to give me the utmost confidence to confront the big wigs....
despite j's busy schedule studying like a mad-woman, we managed to catch up a bit. there was just so much to talk about and it has just been so long. but her words of encouragement again never cease to amaze me. now how else can i top all the support from good ole california?
but of course not to forget...yahleh C had also been giving me positive feedback and encouragement and i was truly struck by her genuine concern and comfort. N left me a chocolate rose by the door with a little post-it that read: good luck tom! and R left a hanger on my doorknob to bless me with a "hang in there" theme. E had offered me his chicken wings during my study breaks and T had been the one person never neglecting to bring sunshine into my life with her silliness. S was kind enough to change interview spots with me and M came up to me and gave me a big warm hug right before.
the list just goes on and on...and while it may seem like the whole world knew of my oh-so-dramatic wednesday, quite frankly, it was only because these people took the time to ask...to ask how i have been doing, to ask what i have been up to... God is SO good! need i say more?
and now, it's waiting time....there are so many periods of "waiting" in life that make time seem long, whilte the rest of life flies! there is waiting to finish school, waiting for exam results, waiting for the wedding day to arrive, and waiting for the baby to take nine months to grow; there is waiting for a long illness to "break" and signs of recovery to be real; there is the waiting for that event all christians most urgently desire (at least in most periods of their lives)--for Christ to return and restore the fallen world, giving us our new bodies to be His Bride, with only glory ahead and no waiting left.
a conflicting feeling.... loves and joys from my awesome brothers and sisters and a bit of melancholy from a day of tired triumph and defeat. what can i learn out of all this? what can i say about myself after all this? somehow, i'm just waiting for Him to continue to purify my heart. all this emotional up and down, i'm thankful it's over. i'm thankful for the support. but i'm thankful that i found His peace and perfection when i needed it most--in a timely manner, indeed. this morning, i found it. i spent ten indulgent minutes reading a favorite book that had nothing to do with work, interview, or getting "buns of steel." it was just for enjoyment, just for me....from Him.
so comes with it, my endearing thank you to all and to Him.
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