my drive home
i packed everything into my car with my very own two hands. i felt independent. i felt older. i began my drive with the CD a brother had burnt me a while ago. it was the same christian CD that was being played nonstop the last time i completely moved back home. worshipping Him lifted my spirts. somehow, i was so ready, so comfortable, in starting my trek home despite the late start in the day. i had a peace of mind that gave me true and complete happiness to say goodbye to sf.
sunday was a fulfilling day. my sister A got me something to take with me to new haven---something i've been wanting and hoping to get. it was a reminder. a lesson that could be taught daily. that night, i spent a romantic evening with my lovergirl. she gave me something as a token of our hopeless romanticism...my partner in crime---actually, more like romance. the words and prayers that were said that day made me realize that yes, my friends will miss me, yes, they will be sad to see me go....but they are also extremely proud of me. i felt it. i felt their undying love and friendship for lil ole me. i have done nothing to deserve all this from my friends, but i have been me. they have put up with my endless complaints, my repetitious guy drama, my self-inflicted worries, my whineyness, my insecurities, my doubts, my fears, my worries...they have put up with my bonnie impulsiveness, the high-maintenance friendship that i ask for, the constant demands for attention. somehow, they still managed to tell me...hey, you'll be missed.
monday was quite a rocky day for me. why? i'm not sure...the ramifications of moving my life out of sf maybe? i was running errands, driving all around, but still managed to go for a swim. yep, luckily, i didn't get much of a tan before the wedding. =) after spending some time meeting my internet quota for the day, i inflicted upon myself an unncessary moment of despair. i found myself crying. thanks to my bro J and my sis C, i was reminded to overcome my inadequacies, to use what i have learned in the past several months to know that He loves ME...that my relationship is with Him, and it was never about other people anyways!
monday night was probably something i had been wanting and asking for a while. dinner was yummy; conversation was satisfying. a sense of completeness swept over me. i found myself relieved, content, ready. i found myself ending all this with a smile....a genuine one indeed.
i packed everything into my car with my very own two hands. i felt independent. i felt older. i began my drive with the CD a brother had burnt me a while ago. it was the same christian CD that was being played nonstop the last time i completely moved back home. worshipping Him lifted my spirts. somehow, i was so ready, so comfortable, in starting my trek home despite the late start in the day. i had a peace of mind that gave me true and complete happiness to say goodbye to sf.
sunday was a fulfilling day. my sister A got me something to take with me to new haven---something i've been wanting and hoping to get. it was a reminder. a lesson that could be taught daily. that night, i spent a romantic evening with my lovergirl. she gave me something as a token of our hopeless romanticism...my partner in crime---actually, more like romance. the words and prayers that were said that day made me realize that yes, my friends will miss me, yes, they will be sad to see me go....but they are also extremely proud of me. i felt it. i felt their undying love and friendship for lil ole me. i have done nothing to deserve all this from my friends, but i have been me. they have put up with my endless complaints, my repetitious guy drama, my self-inflicted worries, my whineyness, my insecurities, my doubts, my fears, my worries...they have put up with my bonnie impulsiveness, the high-maintenance friendship that i ask for, the constant demands for attention. somehow, they still managed to tell me...hey, you'll be missed.
monday was quite a rocky day for me. why? i'm not sure...the ramifications of moving my life out of sf maybe? i was running errands, driving all around, but still managed to go for a swim. yep, luckily, i didn't get much of a tan before the wedding. =) after spending some time meeting my internet quota for the day, i inflicted upon myself an unncessary moment of despair. i found myself crying. thanks to my bro J and my sis C, i was reminded to overcome my inadequacies, to use what i have learned in the past several months to know that He loves ME...that my relationship is with Him, and it was never about other people anyways!
monday night was probably something i had been wanting and asking for a while. dinner was yummy; conversation was satisfying. a sense of completeness swept over me. i found myself relieved, content, ready. i found myself ending all this with a smile....a genuine one indeed.
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