my addiction to the computer (namely blogs) have gotten the best of me. look where i am early in the morning...if i have time, i turn on my home computer, check out some others' blogs (those that are MIA at my work computer), and enlighten myself with top stories of daily adventures and inspirations. somehow, it instigates a chain of thoughts that run through my mind as well...
yesterday was a another long day at work. when things go wrong, my lack of motivation perpetuates to a snowball effect of inconsistencies and disappointments. maybe work has reached a plateau. oh well. better luck today maybe (so far, so good!). i saw an indie flick last night. it's strange how i've grown attracted to oddness and culture around here...or maybe because indies are usually feel-good movies. even though some can be predictable, when you come out of it feeling good, i think it satisfies the busyness of life.
at dinner last night, there was a girl who got up on stage (at the restaurant) and started singing for her beau's birthday. so romantic! so gutsy! i wonder if i would ever do something like that...the bold daring young'un in me says...yeah, probably so. hmm...i wonder.
there are people i call and chat with when i'm looking for life's answers. you selectively choose the people based on the type of responses you're seeking. there have been two separate ocassions now that i call up my closest friends, and they're not there...and all i wanted to do, while holding my babyblue cell phone, was to call up God. sounds strange, huh? like i wish i had his number on my speed-dial to ask how this all came to be, to ask why, to ask what He wants of me. i guess i just spend too much time trying to avoid trials. everyday is a challenge for me--whether it be by thought, by sight, or by action. i live and think with mental expectations of who i am and what i want to be; i flutter when i see something i fear; i struggle when my physical endurance fails me. but really, adversity helps us develop endurance, and endurance is a powerful weapon to have in our character arsenal.
one time when i needed my best friend, she pulled over onto the side of the road and gave me a passage. somehow it worked wonders for me. yesterday, again, i caught a friend online and he gave me a passage. though you'd expect it to be very impersonal, the IM conversation gave me a sense of faith. reading the passage, knowing that someone was on the other end, accepting the truth, and leaving it all up to Him, i stopped myself and understood that it was infinitely easier to quit than to endure. endurance is this amazing character trait that is constantly tested within me. it turns my vision into reality. without it, my visions are merely pipe dreams. there are often many quitting points that make me stop and think...how can i go on? how can i crash through? "blessed is the man who endures trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life." (james 1:12).
this morning, by learning more about some of my inspirational (even if i don't talk to you everday!) friends, i see that in almost everything we all do, we will reach a point where all we can think of is the sweet relief of cashing it in. my friends have built endurance by learning how to crash through quitting points--physical, emotional, vocational, spiritual. whether it be in lab, in my apt, in my irvine home, i know i am ready to call it quits. i definitely can't feel the slaps on my back during those moments. i certainly can't hear the angels sing. but with faith and inspiration....i might just endure one more time...
yesterday was a another long day at work. when things go wrong, my lack of motivation perpetuates to a snowball effect of inconsistencies and disappointments. maybe work has reached a plateau. oh well. better luck today maybe (so far, so good!). i saw an indie flick last night. it's strange how i've grown attracted to oddness and culture around here...or maybe because indies are usually feel-good movies. even though some can be predictable, when you come out of it feeling good, i think it satisfies the busyness of life.
at dinner last night, there was a girl who got up on stage (at the restaurant) and started singing for her beau's birthday. so romantic! so gutsy! i wonder if i would ever do something like that...the bold daring young'un in me says...yeah, probably so. hmm...i wonder.
there are people i call and chat with when i'm looking for life's answers. you selectively choose the people based on the type of responses you're seeking. there have been two separate ocassions now that i call up my closest friends, and they're not there...and all i wanted to do, while holding my babyblue cell phone, was to call up God. sounds strange, huh? like i wish i had his number on my speed-dial to ask how this all came to be, to ask why, to ask what He wants of me. i guess i just spend too much time trying to avoid trials. everyday is a challenge for me--whether it be by thought, by sight, or by action. i live and think with mental expectations of who i am and what i want to be; i flutter when i see something i fear; i struggle when my physical endurance fails me. but really, adversity helps us develop endurance, and endurance is a powerful weapon to have in our character arsenal.
one time when i needed my best friend, she pulled over onto the side of the road and gave me a passage. somehow it worked wonders for me. yesterday, again, i caught a friend online and he gave me a passage. though you'd expect it to be very impersonal, the IM conversation gave me a sense of faith. reading the passage, knowing that someone was on the other end, accepting the truth, and leaving it all up to Him, i stopped myself and understood that it was infinitely easier to quit than to endure. endurance is this amazing character trait that is constantly tested within me. it turns my vision into reality. without it, my visions are merely pipe dreams. there are often many quitting points that make me stop and think...how can i go on? how can i crash through? "blessed is the man who endures trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life." (james 1:12).
this morning, by learning more about some of my inspirational (even if i don't talk to you everday!) friends, i see that in almost everything we all do, we will reach a point where all we can think of is the sweet relief of cashing it in. my friends have built endurance by learning how to crash through quitting points--physical, emotional, vocational, spiritual. whether it be in lab, in my apt, in my irvine home, i know i am ready to call it quits. i definitely can't feel the slaps on my back during those moments. i certainly can't hear the angels sing. but with faith and inspiration....i might just endure one more time...
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