for those who have missed me and my blogs this weekend, i apologize. =) for those who didn't notice i was gone, ah hem! hello?

i made a last minute trip down to SoCal this weekend. i contemplated several times to blog when i was down in irvine, but i found myself lost for words in describing my interactions, my developments, and my insights. it was as if i had entered another world (or my previous one) that had temporarily closed my SF chapter--with blogging being a part of it.

i was extremely busy, trying to assist my big sista on her wedding plans for august. even though i had my list of agenda planned for my weekend trips home, i didn't get to do much other than to see my family and catch up with my cousins. ever since i started jumping from place to place, in and out of the country, i have found very little quality time to spend with the younger "pau clan." i miss being a part of their lives and i miss being the-first-to-know-gossip-queen in their dramas. (okay, so maybe i was never the first to know, let me be). maybe it's part of growing up, but every time i go home and leave, i find myself feeling very homesick, very withdrawn...no matter how much i want to be independent. my heart seems to be really sensitive to nostalgia. who is to say that the next time i come back, everyone would still be there? that my family will be in great health? that life will just fall right back into place?

home is more than where the heart is. it's the comfort of finding yourself BEING yourself...

i'm not sure where i belong. i don't quite fit into the irvine bubble anymore. there was something that gave me a bit of culture shock. maybe it was the overwhelming idea that my sister was getting married? i did walk into "david's bridal" for bridesmaid dresses, and felt SO claustrophobic. every corner, every turn, i found a bride-to-be trying on a wedding gown. i thought to myself: geez, this can potentially be me in this time in life, but the idea seems SO incredibly far-fetched...maybe it was the sun. i was prancing around in a t-shirt and still felt hot. the santa ana winds also made SoCal seem like a desert...okay, it is one. i love the sun, don't get me wrong. i love wearing shorts and t-shirts and sundresses, but i was also missing the SF weather this past weekend...maybe it is the people i hang out with. in SF, i have a group of christian, opinionated, passionate friends...(yeah, you included!), and at home, i have my homies who have known me since i was potty-trained (okay, maybe we haven't been friends for THAT long). the truth is, there's a bit of a clash when i'm trying to identify myself with either groups, either locations.

all in all, i'm glad i went.

okay, now for some interactive fun! i went looking for bridesmaid dresses this saturday...and, well, one of the rules is that you need to somehow match the bride. go figure! =) me being the maid of honor and being delegated the task to choose, i've narrowed it down to two with my sister....(thus far!). so we'll have to see. maybe you can tell me which one is better? or none of the below? **note: the color will be baby-blue or lavender/lilac....
option I
option II