oh what riches i have.

i walked into a sister's apt and heard it harmonizing in the background. i have almost forgotten how it could reach deep into my soul and bring out the introspective passion in me. how can i forget that one drive down to LA by myself playing and replaying the first CD i had received without any of it overplayed. i instantly took a hold of the DJ-position in front of her computer, and played all the songs I remember worshipping to. without paying careful attention, i caught myself slowly raising my arm, reaching, feeling, the power of Him.

spending the turkey break back in Cali evoked a set of new emotions i had not imagined i was capable of feeling. i had left a world so wonderful, so safe, that no matter how much i sinned and searched for His grace, i knew i was the prodigal child under His loving arms, waiting to hear and listen for the new storm to mold me. the armor of truth shielded me from doubts and fears that would hinder my growth. i had feared the potential nh taking away my idealism and passion i had for Him--the world of academics that would consume my mind and heart from reaching out spiritually. and maybe that is why i fell physically weak, debilitated, with a constant reminder that the breaking of my back would not heal until i returned to Him. humbled. my return to all the loved ones at home in ca did not feel the same anymore. somehow, i began to call ct home. and in a new place somewhere 3000 miles from my beloved ca, He stirs in me the passion in my heart again. i cannot call any fellowship here lumps. i cannot call any church here newsong. i cannot call any brothers and sisters here the gang who stood by me during my greatest growth. but i see more of a potential to serve Him. how i have reached out to those who know nothing about christianity, who ask the same questions i had at the beginning, and who carry the same curiosity i had, i just somehow did. it's amazing how He has given me the gift to relate, to speak, and to express who am i today.

who are we when we call ourselves christians but stand on the middle ground of mediocrity? what makes us different when we all possess a gift to serve Him only to be content that we are His beloved children? even with personal matters, i have found myself with a sense of freedom to refresh and relive. the challenge to run this race is so magnificient. the friendships i still hold on to remain mature and steadfast. what joy it is to be honest and open and most importantly, free. the heart of a brother extends out the love of fellowship to me. the sensitivity of a sister cares for my healing and strength.

she holds me accountable when i stumble.

he inspires me to write.

i introspect about the depths of my doldrums and the peaks of my elations, but to no avail, i find myself listening...someone special recently instilled upon me an idea of how my act of ministry can be instrumented...not leading in worship nor bible study, but maybe a very atypical way of juxtaposing me and my gifts with the truth of understanding our deeper God. "words" in the making....we shall see if that is truly my calling...

awesome! awesome! awesome!
there is so much snow. i think we need to stop whatever we're doing and go out and play. i am loving every minute of it. even though this can only get worse, i am genuinely looking forward to it. i will need new shoes, however, and maybe a big long coat. in either case, it's starting to look a lot like christmas...

so in my inbox i find an email titled: santa's calling....from the one and most precious [earthly] man i know...
Hi everyone,
Just as you expect to receive red pockets during Chinese New Year, I am
sure you are looking forward to getting "presents" from Santa during
Christmas. I know we all like pleasant surprises, however frequently,
the "presents" we receive may not be useful or may not be to our liking.
So, I think it would be much more practical if you can all come up with your
own wish list and I will see what Santa can do. Of course, you can also
join forces, for example, Regina and Michael, and get a "bigger present".
Please submit your list by next Wednesday, 12/11.
Best Regards,
DeDe / Bak Bak

and this is the tradition i'm used to....=)

tell me a fable.

with a sudden IM message at 1:30am that read: bon, look outside....
i immediately ran to the window and shouted with glee! yep yep...it's snowing! and of course, i got so excited that i ran downstairs and was completely ill-prepared to stand outside while chatting on the phone. it was FREEZING. i think my heart stopped pumping for a minute or two...

but nevertheless, i still had fun and made some west coasters jealous...as my snow angel friend said: "im going to pray for a freak blizzard that buries the bay area in enuf snow to prevent anyone from goign to work for a week or so." haha

plouf.
two lovely ladies, all dressed up, goes out on the town---only to find themselves reliving quality memories of friendship and sisterhood. with a bit of flirt and a bit of pizazz, both bring out their sensational smiles of charm and wit. the only things lacking are their dancing shoes, but blessed is the conversation over a seafood dinner, sharing thought-provoking words about relationships: with family, with boys, with God. at a hour way past dinner, they scarf down pieces of bread over glasses of water, but without neglecting their table etiquette of course. such are the manners of two close friends who can be real with each other.

across the restaurant, they giggle as they see the back of a gentleman sipping a drink at the bar. can it be? one approaches and taps on his shoulder, asking to see if he's staying for dinner. as she walks back, the other nods and asks the waiter to serve the gentleman a glass of wine to accompany his dish. one laughs while the other smirks. the bartender questions the magnetism of this young man. both men look over, and the girls look back. giggles. oh, such the mischief of two lovely ladies...